## october 09, 2026.

Clawing my way through college. I have to live. I'm doing this for me.

I just finished my first midterm. The math here is, unsurprisingly, incredibly
difficult. It's such a relief to have friends around me.

Is it strange to grieve someone while they're still alive? I guess not. There's
no changing it now—it is what it is. In my dreams, I secretly pray things
could be different. But I know better.

I hope you know I know better, now.

It's an aching pain, a heaviness. I know I'll push past it, but I wish I didn't have to.

It's strange to be so far from home. I miss everybody.